Shame

Gather round children, while I explain something to you from our world's history. Are you all comfortable? Let us proceed.

Long ago, in another place, there was a tool in the social toolbox called shame. Whenever someone in the community did something that the community frowned upon, others would mock and ridicule them. This served to stop the person who engaged in the original behavior, and it served as an example for the young that aberrant actions would not be tolerated.

Let's say that a certain community had an aversion to stacking rocks. Then a newcomer or social malcontent made a big stack of rocks in his yard. Others would avoid the house, walking well clear of it while staring at the stack, and whispering. In the town square, the offender would be avoided and the only voices he would hear would be whispering "There's the man who made a stack of rocks - don't talk to him!" Soon, he would find a sign outside his house saying, "Here lives Simon Rock-Stacker".

Soon, Simon would get the idea that rock stacking is not tolerated and he should take it down and/or leave to find a place where rock stacking is not taboo.

Even after he corrected his social mistake, Simon would have to endure a long tapering scorn, this would help others to learn the rules of the community. If he stayed, it would be years before he could relax in a pub without being asked, "What were you thinking, stacking rocks!"

In current civilization, we have tried to rid ourselves of social shame, because it makes people "feel bad". This has the effect of eroding social mores (values) and causing communities to 'write it all down' in law books, making the lawbooks swell with needless nitpicking laws, fees, and codes that have no business being enforced by government. Some examples:

• No barking dogs after 10PM
• No swimming on dry land
• No skateboarding on the sidewalks
• No fishing by the sewage treatment plant
• No fences over 20 feet high
• No dumping old appliances on the freeway

Of course, once you turn over the enforcement of social mores to the rule of law, you have opened up a new Pandora's box of problems.

Now that people are not allowed to shame others, there is only one way they are able to correct aberrant social conduct. They must hide in their homes and call the police to 'fink' on their neighbors.

"Hello, Police? So-and-so has a dog off-leash in his yard!"
"Mr. A has a 20 foot and 3 inch high fence!"
"I saw a naked woman in a living room window!"
"My neighbor is blasting the stereo and serving liquor to minors after 10PM!"

Because we have involved the police, we have dragged lawyers into the situation as well. Lawyers add to these 'social code laws' in ways that make them get blown out of proportion, watered down, or have their intent perverted to mean something else. So, a well intentioned law that states "No Strip Clubs in the City Limits" might end up meaning "All strip clubs are allowed just outside the city limits", and later, "The city limits must be surrounded with strip clubs".

Another unwanted aspect of this situation is that once codified into law, it must stay that way forever. See, with the shame approach, if the community stops caring about rock-stacking, then the shame is no longer applied, and timidly, citizens start testing the rock-stacking taboo, until it ceases to be a problem. With law, it can be 100 years later, and even if not one person cares about the behavior, the authorities are still constrained to enforce it.

Shame is not a bad thing. It has worked well in societies for millennia. We should de-codify our social practices and stop looking to the authorities to make everyone behave like we want them to.